Tales From the BG

So how many of us have what I call the "Beauty Graveyard" under the sink?

C'mon, just admit it.

Some of you wander the aisles at the beauty supply or even the local drugstore in search of that "holy grail" product, lured by the claims you may have read on the Internet by Curl_zilla123 that "It has been the product she has been lost without her WHOLE LIFE!" She posts a pic of her amazing tendrils springing forth from her head like curving arcs reaching for the heavens, nary a coil out of place, shiny, and no frizz to be seen.

You look under Curl_zilla123's profile and see that she has the EXACT same hair type as you do, 8F wavy/springy. You practically trip and fall headed out the door to purchase the product she is using, and when you get home with it you confidently stand before the mirror in the shower, barely able to contain the excitement, practicing your acceptance speech for the world's most beautiful naturally curly hair.

 You use it according to the way Curl_zilla123 described, patiently wait for it to air-dry, and then it happens: NOTHING.

It does nothing.

Your hair has barely even woken up off your head to say hello to the world, laying in stringy pieces in between clumps of undefined frizz. You are out $15 and it ends up under the sink behind the tampons so your husband doesn't see that you have purchased yet ANOTHER hair product.

"Why?" you may ask.

Well, Dear Curlies, I am here to let you in on a secret, and one that frustrates me both as a curly girl AND as a specialized curl stylist for many reasons.

Your hair is YOUR hair. Just like when we use fingerprints to unlock a phone or a door, we cannot use Someone Else's products to unlock the mysteries of our own hair. We owe much to websites that have taught us about our textures. But in many ways it has made us a tad confused; a bit bewildered, if not somewhat misinformed. Perhaps CurlsMcQueen_88 puts mashed baby food and bull semen in her hair (Yes, those are real hair treatments) and gets fantastic results, but that doesn't assure your own great results.

It just means that she, like many, is on a curl journey and is learning through experimentation.

Where I find this to be detrimental  is when I see a guest who has been trying anything and everything without regard to the many factors that one should be taking into account when trying new products.

 What is your porosity? Does the product change the PH of your hair? Are you protein sensitive? Do you have skin sensitivities/allergies? How long should you give this product to work? And once and for all, What is Your Hair Type??? Some of these subjects will be for future posts, but one thing I'd like to acknowledge is that yes, we do have more knowledge about curly hair than we did, say, 15 years ago.

 Now we have curl "types". While I can appreciate that, the first thing I tell my guests when they ask me what "type" of curl they have is that not everyone will fit neatly into the hair typing standards we have set forth as a curl community. Using myself as an example, I can easily find four different curl types on my head on any given day (depending on my products, humidity in the environment, application methods, drying methods, and sometimes even more! ).

The best way to find your ideal routine is not going to pop up on Someone Else's profile or jump out at you from an article on the web or the aisles at Target. As a matter of fact, when I see pictures of guests who send them to me prior to an appointment, even I cannot be for sure what their hair needs without putting my hands in it to touch it, to see how it responds to water, to feel whether they have buildup, dry scalp, dry ends, or if their PH is off. I cannot tell from a picture and neither can any other professional.

Curly hair is a fabric. Imagine that you are purchasing an expensive dress on the Internet and you are going off the description, "soft, flowing, supple, clingy, warm, breathable" but they never tell you exactly what the fabric IS. How confused would you be with this description?  Would you even know what the fabric could be? Now what if you were in the store and you felt this beautiful dress with your hands and saw it with your own eyes and tried it on to see how it moved with your body? Would you laugh and say to yourself, "Why didn't they just say it was silk!? " It could be that the person who wrote the description never had the opportunity to actually wear the dress.

Just like this dress, I cannot go by other's descriptions of their hair unless I touch it, see it move, and see with my own eyes how they wear it. I cannot tell you what you should cleanse your fabric with or how you should dry it without feeling it. This is exactly why it is so important to seek out a professional to help you establish a routine in person.

You do not need a beauty graveyard!

It doesn't have to be that way, and your routine can be very simple with only minor swaps when the seasons change. I put very little thought into my routine at this point because I know what my hair needs and what it does not. Don't mistake this for not being open, however, as I can add and subtract new products where I would like as long as I have an understanding of my own hair, as well as a basic outline of information that is not too involved or complicated- so that I know where I can and cannot break rules.

Just like a fingerprint, everyone who comes to see me gets detailed notes about their routine, and no two are alike. I find even if two guests have similar notes, something will vary somewhere to make them unique to them specifically.

I recommended seeking out a specialist in your area that can help you establish a routine that works for you and take the guesswork out of the equation- not to mention give you a great cut to boot. Look at the work they post on social media and ask questions! A seasoned curl specialist will be happy to take time for your consultation and be available even after your appointment is over to answer questions you may have.